Saturday, January 9, 2010

JD's Pack Rip (Part 2 of 2)

Welcome to the second part of Jacoby's pack rip. Before we continue on with Jacoby's Target picks, I wanted to give you an update on the success of the SpongeBob tattoo that I wore to yesterday's poker game. While indeed everybody was completely intimidated and impressed with my bravory of adding the tattoo (that wash rag was HOT), unfortunately I fell out in 7th place at the final table after have my set of Kings eliminated by a runner-runner-runner ROYAL FLUSH. I mean that's absolutely insulting. He would have beaten me with a regular ol' flush, but noooo, had to be the best freakin' hand in poker. Thanks for nothing, SpongeBob.

But lets get to the matter at hand. With the second pick in the 2010 Jacoby Pack Pick Em', Jacoby selects... Star Wars- The Clone Wars Widevision! Now, unlike SpongeBob, I DO have a reasonable amount of knowledge of the Star Wars universe. I know my Bobas from my Jabbas, my AT-AT from my AT-ST, and my Jar-Jar Binks from my Jelly Beans. I do know that the first three movies (originals) were epic, and that the second three were...well...not. I understand the rise of Darth Vadar, and the ultimate fall of the Empire, but I must admit that the stuff in between (AKA the Clone Wars) is a complete fog. Somewhere between the massive unleashing of clone troopers at the end of Episode II, and the beginning of Episode III, a massive amount of @#%% went down. These cards are based on episodes from the Clone Wars Television Series.

Let em rip!

Card #1 - Checklist. PHEW, because without the checklist to guide the way, I would have absolutely no clue what is going on here!

Card #2 - Seeking the Reeksa Root. Ah yes, gotta get me some of that Reeksa Root. Wait...what the hell is Reeksa Root. WELL, first of all is it apparently found on the planet lego (although suspiciously the planet name is not capitalized, making me wonder if Mr Lucas might have been asking for a copyright infringement by making it planet Lego. As a matter of fact, I would not be surprised if it is even pronounced differently...something like Lee-Go. Nevertheless, that's where ya gotta go if you want the Reeksa Root.

The Root? Well it turns out that Reeksa is a natural antidote to the Blue Shadow Virus. Serious stuff. Even more difficult about this mission? The Reeska Root is a huge Venus Flytrap looking plant complete with teeth looking to EAT YOU. Don't forget your lightsabers, folks.

Card #3 A visit to Dooku. First off, a little character clarification:

Count Dooku

Eliza Dushku

Anakin and Obi-Wan go visit a captured Count Dooku and interrogate him about...blah blah blah blah blah. I guess what I really want to know is...wasn't Dooku the Emperor's Sith apprentice prior to getting captured, and wasn't it that red camo faced, double-lightsaber wielding bad-ass from "The Phantom Menace" the Emporor's apprentice prior to that? I guess it is lucky for Palpatine that he hooked up with Darth Vadar, because prior to that he had a pretty lousy employment record. He was like the equivalent of Murphy Brown and her never-ending string of administrative assistants. At least with Vadar he had a pretty good run, but we all know how THAT worked out.

Card #4 Out of the Storm - I have to admit, I read the synopsis on the back of this card and am at a complete loss as to what the plot of this episode was. I do have an observation though...what is up with the clone troopers in the lower-right? I thought these were CLONES? I remember that ever trooper in Episode II was a clone of Jenga Fett (excuse me while I push the bridge of my glasses up), but THESE two cats look nothing alike. One looks like Magua from "Last of the Mohicans" and the other looks like Lee Marvin.

Clone Troopers....WHATEVER. Tired one's too. You can almost picture them sitting there with a bucket lunch and a thermos sitting in the shade.

Card #5 - In the Care of Wag Too. Anakin gets messed up pretty bad in a battle on Maridun, and Wag Too plays nurse. The Trade Federation decides to land on the planet and start picking a fight with the peaceful Tee-Watt Kaa nation for no apparent reason other than to flex some muscle. Sounds and AWFUL lot similar to the plot of "Avatar", eh, James Cameron?

Card #6 - Skywalker's Trap - This episode sounds pretty cool and Skywalker and his posse set a trap for the chain-smoking General Grievous and his fleet of misfits. ANY major battle needs to take place in the most dangerous of space bring on the asteroid field. Quote of the episode "We're outgunned. We're not going to last a mynock minute out here". Since EVERYBODY knows that mynocks love to hang out in asteroid fields, this quote is rather cleverly placed (excuse me while I push my glasses up again).

That wraps up the base cards. But this pack contained a HIT! No, not an autograph. Yes they do exist in this product in every 1:174 packs. I have no idea who the autograph is of, but I would kill for a Lando. Anyways, this particular hit is a transparent animation clear cell of some ferocious Jedi named Ahsoka. You can't really tell from the scan, but it is what is says it is, a clear cell with animation on it. Pretty sweet stuff. All kidding aside, if you collect this stuff, just let me know and Ahsoka is all yours.

Special thanks to Wookipedia for its tireless dedication for making sense out of everything Star Wars.

A song, you say? Wanna hear it, here go!


  1. Hmm... I actually do have three of those animation cell things already, so maybe I should go for the set. What do you want for it? And do you still have my address?

    And btw, that mystery package from way back was from me, to make up for the original getting mostly ripped off somewhere between here and there.

  2. Aha! The mystery sender is revealed! Dude, I owe you big thanks for that 1/1 card. Email me your address and the gel cell is yours.