Monday, January 10, 2011

Dead Duck?

Still high off of an improbable Seahawks victory this weekend, I am now getting geared up for yet another huge contest for the Pacific Northwest, Oregon v Auburn for the National Champion of the free universe.

I began thinking of how long it has been since the Ducks have last played. I tried to think of how long the insufferable radio and television coverage leading up the event has been. I get it, Oregon is fast, Cam Newton in the MVP, and neither team is remotely prepared for what the other team is going to give them tonight. There are only so many ways that you can slice and disect this thing and quite frankly, I am tired of it all. Get these kids on the field and lets be done with it!

So when thinking about the long layoff, I did not think of its effects on...

1) Cam Newton
2) LaMichael James
3) Darren Thomas

Nope, the first thought that came into my head?

...dead duck.

You see, while the 30+ day layoff may or may not affect the timing or flow of either teams offenses, I have the most concern about the mascot of the Oregon Ducks....whatever the hell his/her name is.

You see, one of the things you will see tonight is that every time Oregon scores, the Duck with do that many pushups....except it is progressive. So the duck will do seven pushups, then fourteen, then 21, so on so forth. Problem is, Oregon puts up about a bajillion points a game, so the Duck was a python by the end of the season.

Until the layoff. The holidays, the food, the candy, cookies, the sloth....

So pray for the Oregon Duck tonight to make it out alive. Perhaps a low-scoring game is the best solution. Save a Duck.

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