Thursday, January 7, 2010

Why Theo Never Returned My Favorite Card

Chapman, Chapman, Chapman!!

A while back, being young, naive, and clueless, I decided to take a flyer and send my favorite baseball card out for a TTM from Theo Epstein. I had visions of a nice signature across one of the most memorable sports scenes in my life. Luckily my buddy Joe was all over the idea and had a spare...he even went as far as to address the return envelope and include a stamp. So again, luckily I still have one of these in my collection...unsigned perhaps, but IN my collection.

I waited patiently through the regular season and got no response. I figured that Theo was busy being awesome and signing Victor Martinez and I gave a free pass. Then the season ending and hope began anew that somehow, some way, this card would find a way to his desk. Nothing. Then the holidays came and I just knew that Theo Epstein was going to show up at my door in a Santa suit and HAND DELIVER the beautifully signed card to return to its hallowed place in my collection. NOPE. Then I thought maybe he would ask Jacoby Ellsbury (who is more or less in the neighborhood) to deliver it for But it all makes sense now! Theo is too busy making super secret moves in an effort to acquire on of the most sought-after pitchers NOT in the game...Aroldis Chapman

I think that the Red Sox learned a valuable lesson last season by very publicly courting Mark Teixera, only to see him turn pure evil and win a World Series. I like how the Red Sox have quietly stayed under the radar this off-season, but am actually a bit dismayed that a "source" has revealed that the Red Sox are "in the hunt". Whenever sources start talking, usually things fall apart or are completely false. Still, keep hope alive that the Red Sox can add another cannon to their arsenal.

I have to say that I have been intrigued by some of the moves the Sox have made this off-season. It is clear that the construction of a rock-solid defense was a top-priority for Theo (since signing my TTM clearly was not), and that he has harnessed all of his powers into gathering these troops...

SS- Marco Scutaro. Marco had a reasonably good season last year and improved in all of his stat categories, but has nothing to back up that it was an anomalous year. He does not hit for power (though he had double-digit homers last year) and is not know for speed (though double digit steals and broke the century mark in runs scored). What he does bring is solid defense .981 career fielding percentage. Seriously though, we all know that the SS is a constantly revolving door, so it would not surprise me to see somebody else manning this post by season's end.

CF (and I do mean CF) Mike Cameron. With ol crooked hat showing up, Jacoby Ellsbury will no patrol left field and learn how to take caroms off of the Monster. Cameron brings pop, but with a HUGE hole in his bat with almost embarrassing strikeout totals. Apparently he can leg it out though and has a stronger arm to play the position. His steals plummeted in 2009, but I guess you have to be on base to get steals. Go figure.

P-John Lackey. Has a career BAA of 3.81 with 102 wins and pitched 7+ shutout innings against the Sox in the ALDS. Don't make Theo angry, or he'll come and get ya! Lackey is an excellent addition to a talented staff, I just hope that Boston has the common sense to move Wakefield to the pen and keep Buchholtz as a #4 or #5 starter instead.

Adrian Beltre had one anomalous year with the Dodgers and the legend grew. He has never been able to repeat that performance, but again is being utilized for his defensive prowess. And who knows? If you have the right type of swing, that short, tall porch out in left can be awfully inviting.

When you look at the acquisitions, I am willing to make one bold prediction...Jon Papelbon is going to have about a million saves next season (fantasy roster tip o the day) because while I am willing to bet that the Sox have one of the tightest defenses in the league, I wonder who is going to be the run-scoring juggernaut of this squad? Replacing Bay with Cameron certainly does not help your numbers, Mikey Lowell had a good feel for finding the angles that Beltre MAY OR MAY NOT be able to replicate, Scutaro is a question mark and Lackey won't hit. Therefore I predict a lot of close games/save opportunities for Pap. Time will tell.

Of course, everything could go like clockwork and then maybe Theo can relax and take a moment to sign that card for me.


  1. I do love that picture of John Lackey... Scuttaro is pretty awesome. He gets on base and scores. He is pretty similar to Jason Bartlett with the good defense and leadership in the infield. Either way, he is one million times the player that Jed Lowrie is... I hope Theo returns your call one of these days...

  2. I have all the respect for Theo in the world. I think he is a great GM. He is not that reason Teixeira didn't sign with the Red Sox. And the Yankees are not the reason either.

    The Red Sox owner screwed that one up for the fans. Teixeira would have been in Boston last year if the owner stayed out of the negotiations.

  3. Damn, a million saves? I'm gonna have to pony up to acquire him in my keeper league. Cowboy Up, even.

    I'm 1-for-3 in sending TTMs for you... also, I pulled the worst card ever, EVER, from 08 Masterpieces last night. I may give it to you even if I DONT get doubles...

  4. Brings up a good point - why not a line of GM and front office cards? That'd be great.